SALTY PETERS COMEDY

Proving the time tested theory that diner food is terrible for you, Academy Award Winner Cuba Gooding Jr has totally left himself go. At one time a coveted rising star, Cuba’s potential for a long career as blockbuster leading man seemed certain. However, a string of box office flops and straight to DVD movies, Gooding Jr.’s career has gone down faster than Lindsey Lohan at a GLBT Pride Parade. As you can see, the results are not pretty.

The first of what would be many late night greasy diner dinners, Cuba contemplates his future

The disasterous results after just 4 short months of no exercise and one too many Rutti-Tutti-Fresh-And-Frutti

Well, I know is well past the Oscars, but I was channel surfing the other day (which is usually how I end up coming up with inspiration for this crazy blog) when I became totally perplexed. It looked like The Wrestler (which I haven’t seen yet) was on basic cable already. How could this be? I thought. Then I realized that Mickey Rourke was just back on his TV gig hunting down people. No wonder he didn’t win an Oscar. Reality TV stars almost never make it into the movies, let alone get nominated for Oscars. Mickey should just have been thankful for the nomination and a steady paycheck from A&E

Once a bleeding heart liberal who took chances on riff-raff and street rats, Princess Jasmine has updated her look and now only dates rappers and football running backs.

I didn’t know where he was hiding, but then I realized there was a Chicago celebrity that I hadn’t seen in a while. And that’s when it hit me. What a flawless plan. Some times the best plans are the simplest ones.

I think the resemblence is uncanny. At this rate Jessica Alba should become a serial killer any day now.

The suspect in the murder of a Wesleyan student in Conn.

What hey looked like before his appeared in a yet another crappy comic book movie